I Express

I seek... Pleasure in Pain. That undone tie, appears as a rope. I want this Earth to crack from where I stand and let the reason be unexplained. I enjoy blithesome bunch of folks around but I don't wish be one of them. At times, I want to sit in dark.  And cry hard. HARD. It gives me immense satisfaction. Strange? I know this is strange. Count me in that bunch of sick people. I know I would hate what I'm writing when I escape from this phase of despondency. As for now, I want my heart to be broken. I want to be disrespected. I want to be abused. I want an agonized cry. I know I've hurt my own people__I am woebegone. I betray the one's I'm betraying other's for. I pretend to be oblivion towards how much I hurt. I'm audacious while expressing fury, fully aware that my words pierce the heart of the listener. I am Shameless. Am I doing any good? __Not even to My-Own-Self. I know it is not the end of the w

I wish I was someone you deserve. .I am a deceiver Spreading your arms , you invite me, with a wide smile; To tell me I'm your world, the cause of your adrenaline rush. To embrace me in your warmth and threaten all the vile. I'm the only drink you sip, if they aren't wrong in calling you a lush. Your love is unfathomable. You pamper me. You admire my beauty even when I look the worst. You let me drive your car despite knowing I always bang. You caress my hair and fondle my cheek. And the gentle kiss you plant on the nape of my neck. You love it when I flush. Sir, I am touched by your solicitude. You know the reason of my sorrow before any tear rolls down my cheek. I so wish, you hate me one day. I know you'd never leave me. But you'd   go  someday. Leaving me behind, woebegone. The memories, eerie, would haunt me. I'd cry and my tears would never cease. Why don't I love you? NO. I DO. I am unable

Shit. I had written a huge post. I just selected the entire thing as I wanted to copy it. But instead of clicking Ctrl + C. I mean I did click that but somehow my thumb slipped from Ctrl. HAH! ALL GONE! My frustration is at it's peak. That was such a sentimental experience I was writing! Shit. SHIT!  So something I had written was... I was crying at the station. Bah! Why am I so temperamental? Believe me, I'm such a confused woman. I mean just two lines can influence me to SUCH A SUCH A GREAT extent. Now that is a different thing that the influence lasts for merely a few hours! -_- If you doubt that people have mercurial moods. Visit me! I'm a live example! B) You'll be fed up! I shout for no reason. I dance when I should not! Though, I have a good voice. I sing in my worst! Hehe. I'm writing such stupid stuff. But, I'm sensitive. VERY MUCH! I know this is weird but I weep. Weep for NO reason. I love self-pity. Not

Okay.  Though I don't but I'm learning I should. May be. I've been fighting with everybody. From the past few days I've been the most rude girl on this planet! Today, I questioned myself. I don't know what made me do that but I did. 'Should I?' 'Is it so bad being a good listener?' My larynx is the sufferer and so is the tympanum of others'. But the feelings? Being selfish. 'What do I feel at the end of day?' I am not so much into myself. 'I hurt people, too.' And and My-Own-Blood! 'Do I feel guilty?' I do. I do. A LOT. I have pity on what I do to my__Mother. She is the BEST human. The STRONGEST lady. So confident. So avid to learn. So perceptive, sharp, vigilant, quick-witted, dexterous! A home-maker and an entire premises-maker (If any such word exists) So dedicated. My idol. She fulfills all my irrelevant craves for non-durable stuff. I am stubborn. VERY stubborn. I know I hurt her. I make her