Am I the one you deserve?

I wish I was someone you deserve.

.I am a deceiver

Spreading your arms, you invite me, with a wide smile;

To tell me I'm your world, the cause of your adrenaline rush.

To embrace me in your warmth and threaten all the vile.

I'm the only drink you sip, if they aren't wrong in calling you a lush.

Your love is unfathomable.

You pamper me.

You admire my beauty even when I look the worst.

You let me drive your car despite knowing I always bang.

You caress my hair and fondle my cheek.

And the gentle kiss you plant on the nape of my neck.

You love it when I flush.

Sir, I am touched by your solicitude.

You know the reason of my sorrow before any tear rolls down my cheek.

I so wish, you hate me one day.

I know you'd never leave me. But you'd go someday.

Leaving me behind, woebegone.

The memories, eerie, would haunt me.

I'd cry and my tears would never cease.

Why don't I love you?

~~NO.~~

I DO.

I am unable to love you the way you do.

I pity you, for you have me.

ME. Someone who is so conceited, so careless.

I doubt if I can ever be worthy of you.

I let you weep when I hurt you.

I blame you for things you never did.

I misunderstand you.

And I'm unfaithful...

...Alas! My affinity towards men, I stand spell bound.

I overlook your intense feelings.

Brush off that I mean everything to you.

I'm unreasonable, fatuous when you question me.
You, still, smile and absolve.

I know your heart weeps.

I'm guilty.

I'm Sorry, love.
I so wish I was someone you deserve...

Comments

Till the blood dries.

"The blood oozing out from the cut, gave me immense satisfaction." "But where was the cut?" "His neck." I recently read about Nietzsche's thoughts on Morality and how the good and the evil have been reversed. He asks one to revise the existing norms and to live on ones mental instincts rather than following the herd morality. Isn't that a contradiction there? The individual's mental instincts. Would they be good? Who decides the evil? Where do you cross the line? When one is raped, why is there pressure on the law by the family? Would indirect foreordained justification calm your blood? No doubt Nietzsche spoke shit about democracy. 'A 16-year-old girl and her 22-year-old boyfriend were arrested for killing the girl’s adopted parents and leaving their bodies in the house to rot in an upmarket neighbourhood in Vadodara.' ...

I was shamelessly staring at him.

I realized I was shamelessly staring at him but I didn't cease. At the gas station, our bus was standing among vehicles which constantly honked horns. The conductor was engaged in a fight, a brutal one they said, which I didn't bother to look at. Soon the bus driver, too, became a part of it. Half past one, the heat was intense. Cacophony surrounded me. Abuses to pleads. One spat paan while the fight continued. For the young men it was a recreation, "Let's call the Prime Minister to sort this out", one joked. An elderly man staring at young girls playing. Women fanning themselves with the loose end of their saree and their mother-in-laws frowning at them as their sarees slipped from their heads. A mother grabbing a handful of chips from the packet her daughter was holding, chewing, cursing the weather, and the fighting men, as few bits fell off her mouth. An unmarried couple, taking all the advantage of the half-empty bus. A lady, post staring me from he...

I looked Pretty.

She was playing with his shirt buttons. In the metro, they stood face to face. Though, her head swung down often as she talked and smiled and blushed. The metro was crowded. But for her, it was just him. You could tell it from her eyes. You could see her eyes twinkling as she looked at him. She was beautiful, wore a salwar-kameez, hair tightly tied up. Her fingers brushing his’. In between, she slid two of her fingers in his breast pocket and giggled. She had a baby laughter, pleasant to my ears. She seemed so much in love, so content. Her man. Where was he? Yes, in front of her. Where were his eyes? Where were his eyes? I regret looking pretty that day.

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