Papajee

 I miss my Daada, my grandfather, I miss him so much. It's been more than 12 years since he passed away but I can still feel his presence. I was in school back then and I didn't realize how huge that loss was.

He used to pick me up after school. He had retired but used to go to office at times and came to pick me up in his car during his lunch time. I used to ask him for 10 Rupees to buy a packet of Chips. He happily gave it to me and I munched it on our way back. I always used to offer him one piece of chip and ate 2 myself, and we used to have a lovely journey back home. 

I wish I could talk to him, I do feel his presence but I would really like to talk to him. I long to hear his voice. 

One time, back when there were nokia phones, the button to cancel the call was broken on his phone. He had accidentally dialed someone and I was laughing so hard when he couldn't cut the call. He let me have a hearty laugh and didn't scold me about it. 

He used to wake me up in the morning but I went back to sleep resisting it. I regret that moment so much. I wish I woke up, sat with him, heard his stories. He introduced us all to the spiritual talks of sister Shivani, I used to listen to that before going to school, how blessed was I!

He introduced us to Jugni Ji - Coke Studio song way before it was famous. He had a very strong ear for good music. In fact he was learning harmonium in his last days. As a musician now, I admire his will to learn. This 70 year old man was driving to music classes daily and trying to sing saregama on harmonium. INCREDIBLE. How I wish I had attended classes with him and we learnt together. He did it all to keep himself busy and happy despite his declining health. He had a strong willingness to live - live happily and at peace with himself. One time, a little girl was singing the song Sayiaan by Kailash Kher in a singing reality TV show, I turned around and saw papajee crying. He was wiping his tears, he was so touched by music that his emotions were overflowing.

He was the kindest soul I have ever met in my entire life. I am crying like he left just yesterday. The loss feels so fresh when the reality hits that he is no longer here. As I am growing old, I realize how difficult it is to be a warm-hearted person like he was. He was so giving, so polite, never raised his voice, so kind, he treated everyone equally and showered all with blessings. He always used to be the happiest in the happiness of his family. 

At his funeral in the Gurudwara, I sang a Shabad (prayer song) and I remember that is the only time in my life I had no stage fright. I sang from the bottom of my heart and meant every word I sang. The music came from the depth of my soul as if it was papajee singing through me. Nothing mattered in that moment. I know he sends his blessings to all of us from wherever he is. 

Always be kind, be a nice person to everyone you meet. Be good, do good. Thank you for the lessons Papajee, miss you very much :)